


Tear Me Open

by napoleondarling



Category: Ben Solo x Reader - Fandom, Kylo Ren - Fandom, Kylo Ren X Reader - Fandom, Star Wars, The Force Awakens - Fandom, ben solo - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Humor, Pre/Post TFA
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 12:07:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7573465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/napoleondarling/pseuds/napoleondarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working as a technician for the First Order was hard enough, even harder when a certain tantrum throwing man-child takes special interest in you. </p><p>Song: Until It Sleeps by Metallica</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tear Me Open

**Author's Note:**

> Ayyyye, this is the first time I've ever written for the Star Wars fandom, so feedback would be greatly appreciated! You can find me on Tumblr at napoleon-darling :)

/Where do I take this pain of mine? I run but it stays right by my side./

You could feel him behind you, steadily catching up as you weaved throughout the forest, trees and vegetation blurring into masses of green and brown. You were being sloppy, careless; your footprints revealing where you had been in the snow, but even when training Kylo Ren was terrifying, making your most basic instincts scream at you to run.  
It was almost mesmerizing how graceful he was, even in the thick snow that had easily began to slow you down, it already reaching your shins but barely reaching his ankles. He moved like a predator, steady, black robes blowing behind him and his mask a barrier from his expressions. 

Knowing that running proved useless, you stopped in the middle of a clearing, hearing and feeling the heat and crackles of his lit lightsaber. He stood behind you now, arm outstretched just enough that the tip of the saber was inches from your neck, making you stiffen in fear.  
“Commander…”  
“You are reckless. If I can catch you so easily, what makes you think the Resistance cannot?” The masked voiced inquired, low with a hint of amusement in his voice.  
You shuddered a breath and turned to face him. “Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”  
A brief nod.  
“Do it again.” 

/So tear me open, pour me out. There’s things inside that scream and shout/

Starkiller base was awfully quiet at night. Other than the occasional storm trooper monitoring the halls, the base was mostly deserted, making it ample time for you to explorer and wander the massive place you called home without any of the distractions that came with trying to do so in the day. 

Things were different between you and the Commander since that day in the forest, although you couldn’t exactly pinpoint what had changed. You hadn’t really understood why he hadn’t taken much interest in you in the first place. You were just another technician whose duty was to show up for work on time and enforce the beliefs of the First Order while also repairing damages made, but Ren apparently thought differently. 

So, when you heard the all too familiar sound of metal being torn apart by a giant man-child, you paused and listened.  
Something had set him off, and you had remember that he had a meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke, overhearing a conversation between the General and Commander while training. Deciding to investigate, you set off towards the sound and hoped not to catch lightsaber to the face.

He was standing there, slightly hunched and breathing heavily, his grip so tight on the metal hilt of his weapon that you thought he would dent it. 

“Commander?” You kept your voice quiet so to not surprise him, but you were also subconsciously aware that he had already become aware of your presence before you even spoke up. 

He stood rigid and, although his thumb was no longer activating the saber, kept his hand in place from where his last swing had ended. In front of him was a ruined control panel, which made you internally groan at the thought of having to get up earlier tomorrow morning to fix it. 

Despite your mind screaming at you to run the other direction, you slow steps towards him, keeping your eyes on the back of his helmet. As you got closer you could hear heavy and ragged breathing being filtered through the mask, his breath hitching a couple of times in his chest. You frowned, wondering fleetingly if he was crying. 

“Commander?,” you tried again, placing a light hand onto the black robes that covered his shoulder. Kylo turned to look at you, making you jump back at the sudden motion in both fear and surprise.  
“I’m sorry, sir. I know I shouldn’t be out here, but I heard you-,” you made a wild gesture to his lightsaber and the panel, “and I thought that maybe I’d come over and see what was wrong, you know since-” 

“Enough!” 

You immediately pursed your lips, keeping your head down and gazed locked onto the floor, expecting to be punished for intruding on your commanding officer at such a late hour. Instead, you were greeted with the sound of air locks clicking. His mask. 

Freezing, your eyes went wide. Shit, shit, shit. You were gonna die and the last thing you were going to see was the face of your cruel, menacing, handsome-  
You looked up, practically having to strain your neck to stare up at the intimidatingly tall man. Dark hair and dark eyes. You frowned again. 

“What?”, his voice was smooth, a little higher than the masked version you had heard, but still deep enough to give you shivers. Catching yourself, you shook your head. “No, no! Sorry! I just wasn’t expecting…” What? That he’d be a tall, dark, and a handsome drink of water? Nope. 

“You were crying?” You didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, more of an observation than anything, but it didn’t alter the affliction of your voice. You were worried. 

He didn’t say anything, just took ahold of your bicep and dragged you down the long hallways until you reached a room you hadn’t been aware of before. It was his private quarters, you thought to yourself, trying to keep your fear and anticipation at bay. 

He entered the room with you, and all you could do was watch as he begin to strip, tossing the helmet onto the floor to land on the dark carpet with a soft thud. It was only until he was dressed in his low handing under armor pants and nothing else that had you snap out of it. Blinking a few times, you stared at him. 

Kylo was already pushing back the covers and crawling into bed, only stopping once he realized you weren’t following suit.  
“Come lay down.” Despite being phrased as a request, you knew well enough it was a command and had nodded fervently, approaching the bed, and playing it safe, got under the covers and as far away from him as you could without falling off. 

It was quiet for a few moments as you stared into the darkness, awkward and slightly uncomfortable, but also feeling the urge to comfort your Commander, who was obviously brooding over something. You turned your head to look at him, met with the broad expanse of his back, playing connect the dots with the freckles and moles that laid upon it.  
You shuffled a little closer, testing the waters, before placing a tentative hand into his shoulder blade. You heard him suck in a breath, but by your lack of dead-ness, you took that as a good sign and inched a little closer until you could press a cheek to his back and drape an arm across his middle. 

It was like watching glass shatter. He began to crumbled beneath you, trying to fight his sobs beneath two large hands, but finally giving up and letting the rack his body. The battle between Light and Dark was coming to a boiling point, and it made you think that this had something to do with Snoke and whatever he had told the Commander at their meeting today.

It took him a couple of minutes, but he had finally controlled his breathing, and if it weren’t for the vice grip on your hand, you would have thought he had fallen asleep. 

“Do not speak of this to anyone.” 

“Of course not, Commander,” you murmured, not taking offense to the harshness of his voice. 

/and the pain still hates me, so hold me until it sleeps./


End file.
